October 17, 2012

Home from school and the morning has moved through its hours already.  This morning when I left the sky was gray chalk over a watery turquoise, and the sun that just barely showed over the horizon looked like it was floating up from the bay, washed out and dripping pale yellow light.  Yesterday it rained from late morning through this morning early, a gentle steady rain that soaked everything.  The trunks of the trees this morning are still darkly streaked with wet, and the leaves have lost some of their dusty yellow look.  The banks of black-eyed susans and ragweed look fresher and more gold, the ground saturated with all that rain.

What I tend to notice after such a rain is how dark the earth becomes, how rich it looks under it scattered cover of leaves, and the smell of it so thick you almost can't breathe.  I never thought about it but I guess I believe in . . .

The god of dirt
came up to me many times and said
so many wise and delectable things, I lay
on the grass listening
to his dog voice,
crow voice,
frog voice; now,
he said, and now,

and never once mentioned forever
Mary Oliver

We certainly know this rain is not forever having gone through last year's seasons of drought, knowing so many places still struggling with that.   The god of dirt seems to talk to me, it's the god of green growing things I need translated as I don't understand anything he says but . . . tree, and tree, and another tree!  I often hear the crow voice with its loud and insistent now, and the tiny frog voice, peeping and chirping like a flock of tethered birds.  Even the dog voice, the mutter of the small one next door and the baying of some hound in the dark last night, so mournful and loud enough to carry over the whole neighborhood.   Over long years of days and waking nights, I have learned that nothing is forever, but when you are young there are things that feel that way.  When older, you will find it's much easier to slip on the sweater of now against the chill of forever, and it's now that will keep you warm, and the mornings filled with light.