February 27, 2012

Well, the sunshine did not last until today . . . drizzle is what we have today, gray, cloudy, drizzly, breezy, generally dull and wet day.   It's not hard enough to be real rain but definitely too hard for fog or mist, so drizzle it is.  The birds have gone silent again, and there is nothing moving out there, too late in the day for the early joggers, too wet for the cat, even the hardy squirrels are taking a nap, which sounds like a great idea, if I didn't have a bunch of stuff to do this afternoon.

Here is a poem that feels like today . . .

Three kinds of sudden equal three

Three kinds of sudden equal three
windows in a second-story room.
And birds oblivious out there, the way
we borrow something and forget

the kindness, the loss at the other end.
Birds do not suffer. I say that so lightly.
How can you think such a thing?
every mother cries out to me, mother

cloud, mother sideways and thunder,
mother cut with a knife not swiftly,
not clean. Day of almost rain, almost
whoever it was, which of us,

as children. Hidden. Pressed forward
and back. Remote, the urgent
start of it as a door locking distant,
the hinge shuddering up here.

Marianne Boruch

There have been all kinds of sudden today, sirens for some haz-mat spill on Bay Area, the gusts of wind, the speckles of rain you can almost not see, the white blooms that were not open Friday on trees I pass while driving.  Dawn's jasmine is so abundant and lush, a sudden opening of scent, intoxicating, making you want to go up and down the walk and just breath!  This is a day of almost rain, I'm not sure what else you can call it, and was glad to have words to put to it.  Do children always feel like they are being drawn forward to be presented to the world, or pressed back to escape notice?  Doors, open or closed, always seem to bring with them that instant of possibility, open it, close it, stand outside and wait, always so many choices embodied in the concept of door.  The rain still seems to be almost rain, perhaps it will be sideways and thunder later, or it will cease and there will be sun.  Either way, today I am taking what comes, and being grateful, even if it is only grateful for yesterday's beautiful sunshine, and today's rountines that keep me going.